It seems the fine folks over at ShelleytheRepublican.com have created a two-part series on how to expose an atheist.  I guess Part I wasn't enough and so they continue their quest.  Part II is much better.  Let's take a look at what they had to say:

(1) T-shirts. Many Atheists like to advertise their lack of faith to the world with "ironic" branding on their t-shirts and messages inimical to our Christian president. I don't know why they do this – it isn’t clever and it isn’t cool – but it is at least helpful to us Christians so we know to ignore them.

Wrong again.  Unlike religious people, atheists don't care what other people think of them.  Atheists don't have to prove a point on their t-shirt.  On the other hand, most religious people feel it completely necessary to cram their beliefs and morals down your throat.  Everyday I see about 10 Jesus Fish stickers on random cars.

(2) They use long words. As we have now learned Atheists prefer to rely on so-called logic and intelligence rather than good old fashioned gut instinct and religion. This manifests itself in conversation by their using complicated sentences and talking what my plain talking pastor likes to term "bull." If you meet someone who you suspect of being cleverer than you, they may be an Atheist. Exercise caution.

Haha!  This has to be the best one ever!  So in other words what you're saying is, religious people are dumb while atheists are smart?  Well, that makes sense to me.

(3)Bad posture. As my Great Uncle Marty used to say, most liberals could do with a spell in the army to bash some sense into them and stop them being such pinko saps. Nowhere is this more true than of atheists who are so far from discipline and the love of God that they can not even stand up straight and walk tall.

4)Picking nails. As discussed in part one of my study on Atheism, Atheists are nervous and scared of the afterlife and sad about all their dead friends who they are certain are not in heaven. As a result, they pick their nails and bite them off. When you meet someone who you suspect of being an atheist, look at their hands. If their nails are in worse condition than the average Christian’s, you could be in trouble.

These two are just outrageous generalizations and claims.  Using this logic I could easily say that all Christians have bad posture because they're in the prayer position all day.  Or that they bite their nails because they're nervous of the afterlife.  You see with an atheist, there is no afterlife, so there is nothing to worry about in our current life.  But with religious people, there is an afterlife, which means you better keep doing good if you wish to make it a good one.  That seems to make me more nervous.

(5)Use of ‘I-pods’. Unable to appreciate the beauty of God’s world, atheists try to drown out creation with music they listen to on their Godless MP3 players. They listen to whiny music from groups like ‘System Of A Down’ and from Limey homo-sexualists like Morrissey. Of course, I’m aware that not all ipod users are atheists – we Republicans are realists, after all – but it’s still a fair indication. Especially if they’re listening to Morrissey.

Again with this crap?  So you're saying if you listen to an mp3 player you're an atheists, unless you're a republican?  What the hell kind of sense does that make?!  None - the perfect kind of sense for religion.

(6)They are constantly after sex. Atheists do not believe in Biblical morality, nor monogamy. In fact, the creed of Atheism is often used as an excuse to view sick porn on the internet and have debauched romping sex outside marriage. If you meet an Atheist, sooner or later he/she will make a crude suggestion to you. Ignore it.

...unlike all those priests that sexually abuse young boys in their homes and the homes of god.  Give me a break.

(7)Laughing at funerals. Like Satan, Atheists like to laugh at funerals. It’s disgusting.

Why would an atheist laugh at a funeral?  Someone they knew has died and will never return again.  Why would they laugh at that?  I don't see a funeral as being a religious event.  You're just having a ceremony to remember and respect your friend or family.

(8)Confused expression. Atheists are always lost in their own (lack of) logic. Here is a typical Atheist thought process: He will ask himself such questions as "Can God create a rock so big that He cannot lift it?" and, "Can God will Himself out of existence?"...That’s why Atheists are always frowning.

Stupid.  If atheists don't believe in god, then why would they ask questions about god?

(9)They are card carrying communists or fascists. You have to get hold of their wallet to verify this, but you can be sure that if you meet an Athesist, this is what he/she is. And, conversely, if you meet a Communist, he/she is an atheist. Communism and Fascism are the religions of Atheism.

Another wild generalization that makes absolutely no sense what so ever.  Communism and Fascism are not religions.  Stating that they are religions for atheists is an oxymoron.

(10)Looks like a monkey. Okay, this one isn’t necessarily true, but think about it. Atheists are actually convinced that we are descended from apes. Isn’t that just crazy??!?!! Thank God only 28% of Americans agree with them.

How is science crazy?  How are proof and fossil records crazy?  You know what is crazy?  Following a book that was written by man several thousand years ago to help control society.  Now that's crazy.  Oh yeah, and this too.